I Can't Find Logics

It hasn't been long that I said how I was still in holiday mood. And I think the devils heard me.

Here they come. The projects! Deadlines! Presentations! May Buddha bless me and help me get through my final term.

It's 12:40 am and I just got back home. Since 8 am, I'd been in school then I went to help out at my part-time work as my manager is in need of staff. I stayed at work for 4 hours and came back to school for Korean Language Workshop hosted by Woori Sayi, a Korean Culture Club, which I'm a member of. It was quite fun actually. Maybe because it is the language I'm really interested in, I didn't find myself tired at all though I had a long day. The class was from 7 to 9 pm. Till then, I hadn't had a proper meal. Two curry puffs, two cups of coffee and a chicken pao kept me survive until I could find a time to have a proper meal. My friend, Jace, was kind enough to accompany me and had another meal with me again although she'd eaten not long before. It was very sweet. =]

(Afterward, I had to stay back in school till 11: 45 pm to finish at my work. When I came back from the library, I had to walk alone all the way to the bus stop. Quite creepy.)
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I remember every little nice thing people do for me. I don't usually ask people what I want them to do for me, because I think only something done out of their own will is sincere and priceless.
I am very moved if someone gets out of his/her way to do a small thing for me.

I am the kind of person who tries very hard to detach myself emotionally from people. I have tried to treat people, just on the superficial level but never did I succeed. In fact, I have a very soft heart which gets crushed as easily as it can love many things. So, I've become a control freak of my own emotions and I tend to be very reserved unless my instincts like/trust one person. My brain and heart always contradict one another.

Now I face another dilemma. A struggle between heart and brain.

I have a few friends whom I tell every single thing. I trust them but I wanna trust in the instincts of my heart too.

They think I am being crazy to actually trust or get too involved with someone whom I cannot guarantee about anything.
I think I know enough but I never knew enough when it comes to judging people.
I have already found my way to be happy again.
I wanna learn to trust again.
I wanna learn to love again.
I wanna learn to commit again.
Unless it's the right person, I am not gonna do all those.
Well, maybe "love" is a "big fat" word, which is too early to be said at this moment.
At least, I want "TRUST" and I want to be "SOMEONE" and not just anyone in that person's life. All I know is I care for that person and yes, it's as pure as that is.
I am not even sure if I would need any other form of feelings rather than friendship...
For the people I care about too deeply, I am not as greedy 'cause I'm afraid to lose them.
I would rather save the best possible and safest state of our attachment.
Be it friendship, I'll be happy.

Urghh. My mind is tired. My body can't move. It's signs that say I should go to bed. Good night.

I'll be fine tomorrow at the presentation! ^__^
Anyonghi jumuseyo! [Figure out what they are on your own~]