[M/V] 2PM "Heartbeat" from 01:59PM

JAEBUM OPPA LISTEN TO OUR HEARTBEART!

WE WILL WAIT TILL YOU ARE BACK.

NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES.

STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY IN SEATTLE.

EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE LEFT US FOR A WHILE,

WHENEVER WE WATCH THIS VIDEO; DEFINITELY WE CAN FEEL A VERY VITAL FORCE IS MISSING BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER HERE~

WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 2PM! JAEBUM, LEADJA FOREVER!

Urghh now that I logged in.. I remember I have been silent for a while at my blog..

Nothing much changes except for the fact that school has started and things look a little more lively now.. Unlike in summer days when you can just tug in your bed all day and sleep days away.. Well, *pff* I'd rather have those dull and warm days to hectic school days.. You see, I'm not a loud or hyper person so I hate to step out of my comfort shell.. You may wonder why whichever topic I speak of school relates to something negative and the reason is classes in SMU always put my nerves at the stake of exploding with anxiety all the times!

Participation seems to be the core competency of SMU's advertised learning style that everyone is unconsciously forced to speak up their opinions (or sometimes-redecorated-opinions-of-others) in class.
[AGAIN, I sounded negative.]

No don't get me wrong yet. I LOVE MY SCHOOL! Who doesn't love his/her own school right? It's just that my school's environment clashes with my shy and introverted nature. On top of that, I took "Corporate Communication" as my second major! (Nice chocie! Sarcastically, I said to myself.)

Since young, I've loved literature especially in foreign languages and when I was deciding on my majors, I was very sure that Corp Comm Major was the one that would really interest me. The courses are indeed very knowledge-nourishing, vibrant-natured and interesting, as I expected. I just feel like I'm being pressured constantly throughout the classes to voice out... and what to do? I can't get over my shyness and public fright until now; I'm in my final year! This is so helpless, I think. Well, I've been complaining about myself over a billion times... I should just drop this topic and try my best to make do all of the Corp Comm modules I'm taking this semester~

xoxo
BTW people, I'm on twitter now @ http://twitter.com/katloveshome =)

THE SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD...

Since I met Nang on the other day, the song she let us listen with her phone got stuck in my head.

Have heard it many times before and liked it whenever I heard; yet could never figure out what that song was.

Many million thanks to Nang. I now know what the song is!

It's called INSOMNIA by Craig David. Here's its MTV. Enjoy~ xoxoxo

P.S Don't forget to stop the music player on my page before watching the vid! :)

Not Sorry At All

…

People ask;

Did I love you for who you are?

In the flashbacks,

I see you and me through good and bad times.

I recalled

Joys, laughters, fights and tears.

Apparently,

I loved you for who I perceived you to be.

Like a confirmation of those doubts in mind,

you grew to be a stranger in my eyes.

At the last shot, the wake-up call was harsh;

You betrayed and stabbed me from the back

Now that you are long gone,

And I have fallen out of my illusion.

Tell me why I should feel sorry?

Instead,

I should be counting my blessings.

. . . I Can't Hate You Anymore . . .

An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burned the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,

Just to find what you're looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
I can't hate you anymore.

You're not the person that you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting go of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.

Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.

Will I ever understand?

~A Stranger In My Life~

Sometimes I look at you and smile
With the thoughts of you, being mine..

Sometimes I look at you and cry
With the thoughts of loss, being wild..

You once told me
how there always was a return
for the true love that we yield..

Under your twisted words
I didn't know what was right or wrong
Or I pretended not to know..

The trust, the love, & the cherish
I gave to you in vain
Naively thinking I knew you like insane..

Now you say the same words
And I recalled the words you said
But they don't quite sound the same..

I look at you
Neither can I smile nor cry
Yet I see and feel an eternal darkness..

After everything I gave up for you,
A cruel intention that you had for me
Was to wonder who was sitting next to me..

And I heard myself whisper,
"A stranger in my life."

A Cold Corner of Life

Whenever I feel scared

and there is no one to give me courage.. 

Whenever I fall down

and there is no one to pull me up.. 

Whenever I feel sad 

and there is no shoulder to cry on.. 

Whenever I have to walk a long way alone,

through the darkness and rain,

with no one watching over me..

Whenever I feel sick 

and there’s no one to take care of me.. 

I tell myself, 

"You are just learning a part of growing up in this cold and cruel world."

Alex "If it's you" (그대라면) (English Subtitles)

At the first moment I saw you..
Many thoughts rushed into my head..
While a part of me is saying NO,
a very much stronger part of me is saying YES

If its you, forever is possible..
It is like I dreamed you into my life and you came alive..
You are not near anything I have imagined my right one to be..
And your heart already belongs to someone else..

But if its you, forgiving is more than easy..
Your smile and laughter comes before anything else..
You once said love you knew was giving not taking..
Being able to have you besides me as a friend already feels like a paradise..

I just never knew..
putting up a smile, when you talk about her,
would become the hardest part of living my life..

If I Were A Lesbo...

This is not another song from Beyonce` but what I am saying here is only if I were a lesbian, I'd like someone like her definitely. Sizzling Hot. Even as a straight person, I can appreciate her "handsomeness".

Who is she? She's Katherine Moennig (We've got the same name - kathryn! Just spelled in different way. lol)

Now let's dive into more serious thoughts. :)

She plays as a serial heartbreaker in the American television drama "The L Word" which portrays the Lives of a group of Lesbians and bisexuals who reside in the trendy Los Angeles. By depicting their relationships with their Lovers, friends and family, the drama zooms into their definitions of Lust, Love, and Life and values in them.

You might be tempted to ask me, "Why the hell are you watching a lesbian drama?" or comment, "Ewww.. A lesbian drama? Gross! This isn't right."

Some of my friends' comments have aspired me to blog about this topic, which I hesitated very much to do so.

Well, my answer is I find it very very interesting to find out about the lives of people who are not one's own kind and how they are surviving in the world when majority of the people condemn on their relationships and love lives. Based on your sexual orientation, people start misjudging you and underestimating your potential and they will stereotype you into a category which you might not belong to. The opportunities and rewards you get when you are straight are very much different from those you get when you are gay.

I find this current moral of labeling being a lesbian or gay as a sin unreasonable and prejudiced. Being gay might not justify some laws of nature where only people of different genders fall in love, have sexual relationships, get married and have offsprings. However, in a marriage, reproduction is not a necessity but just a routine that naturally occurs.

Let me give you an example of right-handed and left-handed people. Majority of us are born as right-handed people and there is a minority who are left-handed too. Since we were born, the society that includes our parents and teachers will cultivate us according to the norms, such as we are supposed to hold pencils with our right hands and draw. All of us followed the instructions and became right-handed. But, there are some of us who followed the instructions to a certain extent of time and found out that something inside them was tempting them to rebel and use their left hands instead of right ones. And there is a time they come out as "left-handed" going against how they have been trained. Although they are NOT following the practices, can you say that they are wrong? They are just different from you and I.

The same set of logics applies to the case of homosexuality and bisexuality as well. What if it was the other way round __ a world where only homosexuals and bisexuals exist? In a world like that, heterosexuality would become a taboo. Then, would you continue to be yourself, a heterosexual, which people sniff at or change yourself in order to conform to the social norms? This is a question for you think before saying someone is wrong for not behaving the same way as you. You can say homosexuality is not natural but it is not wrong nor homosexuals deserve the condemnation. It is something they are born with. Their genes crave partner of same gender. It is not something they chose themselves to become.

###

Haha the funny thing is since I always talk so openly about lesbians that some people come and shoot me with questions like "Don't be offended but are you a les?" or say, "Hmm I'd really prefer you to be straight." LOL.

Unlike some of the people, I just find these topics very interesting and I feel comfortable talking about them. It can be probably because I know some people who are homo and bi, and some of them, smarter than us with great potential, some of them, very liberal and good to talk to with great personality. So, I don't see a reason why they should not be recognized and appreciated as much as straight people.

Every person with a good heart deserves equal blessings, regardless of their sexual orientation.

VALENTINES' DAY OR SAD?

SAD here refers to Single Awareness Day~ (applause to our freedom and the ability to stay single in break-up-and-make-up-overnight century)

first and foremost, i'd like to thank Ei, Ei Phyu, Kyaw Thu Min, and everyone who wished me happy v day. :) damn i should've checked my page yesterday then my day could've been better.. lol

what an enjoyable v day?!~ had the most hateful class on SAT (at least, the guest speaker from SIA, did a pretty good job on hyping up our mood. he used to be someone "BIG" in SIA and now he's retired. we can tell clearly from the way he presented himself that he's someone of wide knowledge and high class.)

during the class half-way, while SIA person was speaking, a delivery man came into class with this HUGE A** TEDDY BEAR and a bouquet of roses in his hands!

the whole class: "heads turned". "jaws dropped". "eyes wide open".

and he said, "Hi, who's miss uvwxyz(i dun care lol)? I'm here to deliver the present for her."

HOW SWEET! but anyway if I was the girl, I could die on the spot because of shyness. Its more of "shat sa yar gyi" (embarrassing) to accept such things in front of professors, guest speaker and classmates, rather than "romantic"...

after class, nang came and picked me up at my skool and we went to far east to accompany one of our dear friends getting a tattoo on the valentines' day for her valentine and for herself..

HER TWO GORGEOUS TATTOOS

ALPHABET "H" ON HER BACK (DEDICATED TO HER BF) :P

THE MILK WAY ON HER LOWER WAIST (OUCH! SHE SAID IT HURT MORE THERE)

have i told you before that I do not like sweet stuffs, like cake creams, chocolates, etc etc..

but yesterday I could feel the sweetness running low in my blood due to all the annoying cutesy things flying around in the air..

I treated myself heaps of cakes and chocolates!! V'day is the reason why I started loving them all of a sudden. ~

BTW GUYS
please do check out this video. its been almost a year that i bought my mac still i had never used some of the programmes in it. today, i learned something new __ how to make a slideshow video in iMovie and how to put subtitles! yay~ so I made this video with the song I sang and some of my pics. the original song is by Amber Guo, its called "I remember". hope you guys are gon enjoy it. :)

you have to shave..
and keep your shirts wrinkles free..
only one cup of coffee per day..
try to stop smoking and avoid salty and spicy foods..
you have to, now, practice being alone too..

don't start drinking cuz' i'm no longer there..
what i'm saying is look after yourself..
don't be a fool and keep everything in..
say what you want to say..
don't be sick cuz' i'm no longer there..
and don't skip any meals..
even if this is all annoying and you can't be bothered..
pleaseee..

haha if you guys wondered what all of these was about, it's eng translation of lyrics from Lee Hyori's song "Sojari/Scolded"..

last night i was arguing with my friend maw gyi(hendrix) that Lee Hyori is just good at looking hot and smexiii and she can't sing live.. then, he showed me this video of her.. after the video, my opinion on her singing shifted greatly to more of a positive sidee haha..but still, her live performances ain't that great although she's got some frigging awesome dance moves that can stop your heartbeat.. and also, its no doubt that shes pretty, no, almost perfect.. how could someone human can be that pretty?!! (hopefully, she hasn't gone under plastic surgery like some celebs in Korea)

anyway, GUYS its a MUST check-out ;) wink

WARNING: please keep some tissues or cottons near you before you watch, in case your nose bleeds or your mouth drools. ROFL. :D

i didn't have any intentions of recording today but well when i got back home there was no one at home and i found a great karaoke version of Taylor Swift's song "LOVE STORY" on youtube. so yes, here is the cover i did!

please listen to it and don't forget to leave comments in the box on the right side of e blog. =)

lovee you all. <3>

unknown -
For those of you who can't listen to full, please click on the title below the icon to listen the whole song yah? cuz' i can't embed it here.

my version of love...

IF YOU SEEK-ED UP FRIDAY

woke up in the boring afternoon besides ywe` (my friend slept over at my place)..
as a routine, we showered, cooked and had our BRUCH (breakfast+lunch)..
we didn't know what to do after that.. we dunnoe whom to ask to go out either.. nang is busy with her school works, juju is sick, and rara is out for her job applications.. as ywe suggested, i tried to call a few ppl, nga tint, wint, and ko CN.. nga tint was at school he said and nga wint preparing for her presentation.. oh well, ko CN i couldn't even reach him.. i was picturing a good time with friends on friday when i don't have any class but it no longer seemed possible at that point of time.. with low-feeling hearts, ywe` and i decided to go out on our own, still..

because it would be so pitiful to spend our free friday, curling up in bed at home
because we still have each other no matter what and should accompany each other
because we both were pissed and seriously need to get out of house to refresh ourselves

we didn't even dress up. both in our tees and jeans. since ywe` is looking for a tenant at her house and needed a phone card, we went to peninsula, thinking of advertising the vacancy at THAPYAYNU - YEAH I KNOW, WHAT A CHOICE OF PLACE TO GO WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD, RIGHT?

it definitely was a bad choice. our alredy-bad moods got worse after we'd gotten there. i mean plese, we were wearing t-shirts and long pants yah? and WE STILL GOT TEASED by some ASSHOLES. ywe` was so mad that she almost swore back at them. well, i'm just sick of people. so that was at peninsula. we came back to ywe's place, Tiong Bahru, and on the way home, we met some more perverted ASSHOLES alikes- not burmese this time. i dunnoe what the hell is wrong with guys nowadays? some too cocky, some too ignorant, some too perverted, some are just plain assholes and jerks. well, there may be guys who are really gentleman-like, and nice but that'd be like 20% of all. majority is stuck-up. sorry, i'm not being sexist but i SERIOUSLY do not understand *MALES* also known as *WEIRD CREATURES*. i dun care if no guy likes me because i said that, because i don't ACT cute or innocent, because i speak harshly, because i'm proud, because i don't agree to whatever they say,..

moreover, i can't act dumb cuz' i'm too damn smart to act dumb.. and because I have *self-respect* and *dignity*.. even if i like/love you to death, i won't ask you to stay or do anything without your will.. the kinda of people i hate most in the world is easy and cheap ppl.. and i can't let myself be one of them no matter how much i like you.. yes, i'm that proud and i'm not sweet either.. but as one of the quotes say, "if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best, too."

HATE is a strong wrong but I REALLY REALLY don't LIKE you, weird ITs.

>>and it really pisses me off when people take advantage of me being nice, and walk over me.. my mom always blames me for thinking of everyone the same as myself.. i always put myself in others shoes and think over and over again before i act on something, so that my action will not hurt anyone.. the more i try to un-hurt others, the more i keep hurting myself..

>>whenever i try to be nice to someone whole-heartedly, he/she somehow disappoints me.. i know it is too much of unreality to hope for the same kind of response from the other person, but all i wanted was "recognition" and "appreciation".. only if they appreciated how much I'd done for them, I'd be satisfied..

"So, people, beware now. I'm also human and there is a limit to everything. When you've gone over the limit, there is no turning back. If a time comes when I get sick of you, I will never turn back to you, not even for a glance."

today is the first day of school after CNY holidays.. personally i dun feeel like im out of holiday mood at all.. but i do respect those people who were able to shake themselves out of the mood and participate by saying either BS or sensible things.. because for some people like me, just getting ourselves to be in class for today was hard enough... haha

neway, ive been checking out a lot of music videos at youtube and realized i had a lot to catch up with Big Bang's songs.. if you haven't heard of Big Bang, you know you haven't been following Asian music trends closely.. its one of the very famous boyband in Korean or maybe the most famous one.. the last song of them i listened to was "Lies" and "Last Farewell".. later, i got caught up in other addictions like Twilight, R.Pats and some other movies so I didnt really rem to look up for their new songs.. they have quite a number songs that I haven't listened to __ Haru Haru, With you, Goodbye Baby and Always.. i rarely dislike their songs so all of them are great for me.. but if i've to pick the best two, it'd be Haru Haru and With you..

CHECK EM THE COOL MVS OUT *wink* ;)

BIG BANG is VIPS <3





The long-anticipated collaboration of Big Bang (top Kboyband) and Wonder Girl (top Kgirlband) had come. They had a joint performance at the MBC Gayo Daejun 2008 as they sang their hit songs.
Sun Ye and Tae Yang did Irony,
Yoo Bin and Seung Ri did Lies,
So Hee and G-Dragon did Tell Me,
Ye Eun and Daesung did Haru Haru
while Sun Mi did Nobody with T.O.P. Of course, it's AWESOME. There was a cross stage with Big Bang performing So Hot, guy version and then Wonder Girls finishing off with Last Farewell, girl version. I've been watching this video clip like five times a day. And do watch it in HIGH QUALITY. :) <3>

~*~*HANA YORI DANGO / BOYS OVER FLOWERS*~*~

JAPANESE VERSION <3>

this is the only drama i've watched repeatedly more than twice. yeah i know some of u may wonder why i would watch something that i've already watched again rite? especially when it is not a movie BUT a DRAMA. well, i just really enjoy it every time i watch it. i still dont get bored of it yet and i wonder if i ever will.

okay first of all, the ONE i like is the JAPANESE version. the season 1 was aired during 2005 and the season 2, during 2007, respectively. and if you guys remember, during 2008 september, the finale of this whole series, the movie "Hana Yori Dango: Final", was shown on cinemas here in Singapore. of course, i went and watched! (i can't believe the drama i really love is coming to an end.) FYI, there is also Taiwanese version called "Meteor Garden" where the popular Chinese Boy Band F4 was formed after they had appeared as members of "F4 / Flower 4" in the drama. Their appearance in the drama has resulted them in a lot of fame thus making their debut as F4 a success. neway, i dun really like them. lol.

KOREAN VERSION

now, a KOREAN version is OUT! it started airing just a few weeks ago. i didnt know about it until wai khaing phoo told me LOL. (she's in US and she knows and has watched whatever that's been out on the net!) thanks to her. i started watching it on www.mysoju.com two days ago. sadly, episode 6 is the latest available and i'm already done with it. so, i gotta wait for a week to see the next episode. =(

so far, i don't like the girl here Koo Hye Seon as much as Inoue Mao. she's a bit too old compared to the character and older than all the guys in the movie! (she's supposed to be younger than all, according to the story.) honestly, the japanese cast was awesome with their actings that now i feel this korean cast isn't good enough. i'd say all of the guys look pretty cutee, and Kim Bum acts well but still, I don't find Ji Hoo (Kim Hyun Joong) attractive enough for his role. he looks all weakkk and gay.ewww. look at the japanese version, Oguri Shun who played the same role is reallyy TALL AND HOT. after all, Lee Min Ho, the lead guy, makes this drama quite worth-watching and more bearable. FYI, he's only 87 born! hehe XD

so this is the music video of Jap Version I love

Planetarium - Otsuka Ai

Hana Yori Dango

Synopsis:
Makino Tsukushi is the only poor student at Eitoku Gakuen, the school of the ridiculously rich and privileged that is ruled by Flower 4 or F4, a group of four boys who come from extremely powerful families: Domyoji Tsukasa, the leader and heir of the Domyoji World Finance Group; Hanazawa Rui, the introverted son of a large company; Nishikado Sojiro, a player who is the heir of a tea ceremony school; and Mimasaka Akira, a madam killer with ties to the underground. If a student gets on the F4’s bad side, he/she gets a red notice and is bullied and driven out of school.
Makino hopes to pass her days quietly-- without drawing any attention to herself-- but one day, she stands up to Domyoji in defense of her friend. The next day, Makino gets the dreaded red notice. Even though she is harassed, Makino decides to keep going to school because she is a “tough weed”. She declares war right back on the F4. Her resolve gets the attention of her crush Hanazawa Rui and oddly enough, rouses romantic feelings in her worst enemy, Domyoji Tsukasa.
The series is based on the Japanese shoujo manga "Hana Yori Dango" (Boys Before Flowers) by Kamio Yoko.

P.S > I've been thinking recently why I always like to mention about weeds that will survive no matter what. hahaha so this is the reason. I really like how "weed" is presented here and its gotten too far in my mind. (weed=a wild plant growing where it is not wanted in competition with other well-cultivated plants, so LOL this is not the tobacco-related-weed you guys are thinking about.)

i know illness can be contagious by means of contact but what i didn't know is that we could get infected by hearing about someone else's illness too..

since a few days ago, one after another, a couple of my friends have been falling sick.. you know, i heard about them and was worried for them.. 

now here i am, awake at 4 o' clock in the morning cuz' i am feeling really really sick and can't sleep.. what am i to do? i have a class which i can't miss at 12 noon and have a gathering with some of my friends in the evening.. 

since i woke up this morning, i felt the pain in my throat and i did not feel like eating anything.. in the evening, i started to sneeze and felt fire blazing inside my body.. 

i thought its bcuz of the weather and showered and washed my hair for the second time! how stupid of me right?? yes, thanks to my stupidity. my body is burnnning hottt and aching.. :'( 

or as Nang and I were saying, I might have been caring too much for other people that I have totally forgotten about myself.. that's usually the case.. 

at times like these, i do miss my home.. there's not even one person to take care of me now.. and i can't cry to my parents not to send me to school lol ( what i always did).. now i'm all on my own as an adult.. without my will, i have to do things i'm supposed to do.. 

i'm sick but tomorrow i'll be going to school... *sniff* cuz' i can't miss it..

university student life suffers like hell~~ 

Don't Speak ( ဘာမွ မေၿပာပါနဲ ့ေတာ ့)

The song is rather old but I came across it only a few days ago. It hooked me up right away.. 

"Don't Speak" is the third single from Tragic Kingdom, the third album by Californian rock band No Doubt, released in 1996. Okay, a lilttle bit background about this song would make it more interesting, I think. In fact, this song was written by Gwen Stefani. It's about her break up with Bassist of the band, Tony Kanal whom she had been in a relationship for almost 7 years. Yeah I know, it must have been a tough situation right? She (who was kinda the lead of the band) wrote the song so the Bassist Tony still had to play it, knowing it's about them.

Don't just listen. Read the lyrics and you'll feel "the song". Me loving it. <3

Dont Speak - No Doubt

You and me

We used to be together

Everyday together always

I really feel

That I'm losin my best friend

I can't believe

This could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go

And if it's real

Well, I don't want to know

Don't speak

I know just what you're sayin

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me cause it hurts

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories

Well, they can be inviting

But some are altogether mighty

Frightening

As we die, both you and I

With my head in my hands

I sit and cry

Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending

I gotta stop pretending who we are...

You and me

I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

And I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me cause it hurts

Don't tell me cause it hurts!

I know what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't speak,

don't speak,

don't speak,

oh I know what you're thinking

And I don't need your reasons

I know you're good,

I know you're good,

I know you're real good

Oh, la la la la la la

La la la la la

Don't, don't, uh-huh

Hush, hush darlin'

Hush, hush darlin'

Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Hush, hush darlin'

Hush, hush darlin'

Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check out their live performance. One of the best live performances ever. She sounds exactly the same.

i didn't cry.. because nang and opal didn't want to see me cry. they'd be so sad to see me cry. i tried my best to hold back my tears and it worked! (although i became teary at times)

deepdown i'm hurt..

"it" has hurt my feelings, and my pride.. i almost begged "it"..

"it" just walked away.. *ouch* right at the heart..

"it" doesn't even care how i would feel if "it" did that..

i felt all sort of mixed emotions.. i mean no one had ever treated me that way..

i felt so mad, unappreciated, neglected and uncared..

i don't want pity or sympathy.. i just want sincerity.. i will survive like a weed no matter what..

ive been pretty emotional, whiny, and weepy lately ~ ~

my beloved brother going back to myanmar tmr, school works starting to pile up, feeling sickly and "အခ်စ္ေရးကလဲအဆင္မေၿပ.." 

"cedric" doesn't even see me in his eyes.. someone in his past has been shadowing over him.. and me? i'm dumber than the dumbest in these kinda things.. i just can't get beyond the question "how" and "should".. how do i talk to him? should i be friends with him, for real? should i call him first? GRHH -.-

i never knew it was THAT hard to like a person. 

i wish i could cry out loud but the tears just stuck in my eyes and don't come out to fall.. i wish i could hug "cedric" and cried as much as i want ='(

P.S > "cedric" is a nickname. it doesn't refer to any real cedric outside. a nickname fo my crush my friend nangy came out with. 

nang and opal. shhhhh. dont let others know how emo i can b or how often. =P

so what did i do for a relief? I SANG. if you dun know that part of about me yet, take note now. i love music and singing. dancing would be second in the priority list. 

can i sing? well, at least ppl know i'm singing when i sing haha. my friends say my key is a bit low for a girl but i like how it is (like i could change it hehe). some say i sing well, some say okay, and i once got a comment that i suck. i cant rem who it was but it was a guy for sure and he told me i sucked. i mean hello? im not singing for money or i'm not a profession either. its my hobby so imma do my thing. if they don't wanna listen, don't click on my songs. its as simple as that. ritee? =) 

anyway, here are some of the songs i did tonight. i think i did not bad. heees XD

Fairytale (Tong Hua Eng Version) - Kathryn

Who am I to say you love me? - Kathryn

I'm Missing You Nga Lwin. ~

WHO IS SHE? - she is a sister. she is a friend. she is a kid (but she's taller than most of us) lol. it's Lwin whom we all love.

dear sis,

no matter what happens, we've got your back. wint, ko chan nyein, me, ma may and nga tint, all of us, miss you. u gotta stay good, and work hard kay? so that u can come back here ASAP. and of cuz, we'll come and pick u up when u come back. :)

loves
xoxo

erghh. i'm having a headache or a nightmare seriously. its not about school or work or anything normal.

its about these anonymous calls i've been getting since 3 days ago. i mean, look. i'm not popular or anything like that so i can't think of why anonymous someone would wanna be friends with me? i know, scary right? well it might not sound scary at all for you. think it through again. the person from the other side knows all about you _ name, school, etc, etc and you know nothing about him. i dunnoe how the hell on this earth that person got my number and i'm gon kill the person who gave him my no. if i find out who.

he said he wanna be friends with me. i mean c'mon. there's no reason why i shud be friends with someone whose existence i didn't know about. i have no interest in making friends with some random strangers. who knows what their intentions are? if he thinks i'm one of those girls who will stay on phone for hours with no particular reason __ Q or flirt, he has picked the wrong person. i dun talk on ph for more than 30 mins EVEN with my closest friends. its been 3 days and he keeps calling and i keep hanging up or passing the phone to my friends. why is he that enthusiastic to disturb me? i dun know of any reason. SIGH. i'm frustrated. my ring tone is now haunting me. i almost jump whenever my phone rings. there's no reason to be scared right? i know ive such a weak heart. well if i've a chance to pass as msg to him, i wanna say, "don't waste time on me. i'm not interested in any business with you. so, move on to some other girl please."


i hope that anonymous person gives up soon. pals, wish fo me too. :'(

P.S> anonymous = without revealing any of your infos = rude = unfair hmpz!