Most of us, as we grow old, go through repetitive series of events e.g., travelling back and forth to home country or as simple as getting up for early classes/work. However, some of them over time have made us used to them. For example, if you have had early classes everyday for more than two weeks, you will get used to getting up early and you will not even need an alarm clock to wake you up. That is one type of event.
So, here comes another. The type of event you do not get used to no matter how frequent it happens.
Right now, I am sitting in the waiting hall of departure (at Yangon International Airport) waiting to board the plane, which will carry me back to Singapore.
I am having cold feet and an unstable heart. I have travelled back and forth to Singapore and Myanmar for about four times. However, my feet are heavy and they do not wanna carry me where they should.
The time, which I spent in Yangon, seems to have flown away with the wind. I want more time, just a little bit maybe, here where I have grown up. I am already missing my mom, my mischievous brother, my relatives, the foods and my beloved friends.
I am not the type to cry. I have never cried whenever I get separated from my family; at times like this when my mom and dad would be in tears. Whenever I see my friends off, people would cry and I would not. That is not because my heart is made of steel but because I am suffocating too much in my heart that tears just will not come out anymore. So, you see, sometimes I wish I could have cried. It is much easier than holding back inside, suffocating, and being not able to cry. I think that is the habit I have gotten from my brothers. Like guys, I do not show my emotions most of the time; neither do I know how.
Yes, I got it from them. Whenever I feel hurt or sad, unconsciously I am holding back. It gets hard to breathe.
That is exactly what is happening to me right now.
Parting my family, home, relatives and friends, is something that I will never get used to.
I am feeling nervous and I do not know what to do so here I am typing out what I feel. Bitter Bitter Bitter.
Now, the people in charge at the airport are calling. I have to go.
Goodbye, Yangon. Despite all the differences compared to other developed cities like Singapore, I still love you the most.
27-06-2010 (Sunday) (10:00 AM)
